You're not an alcohol or drunk. You just know how to have a good time. You're the life the party. You know the difference between varietals and vinos. You're a drinking enthusiast! Because you're enthusiastically adamant that the only help you need is someone to run the table with playing beer pong or flip cup. Beer is one of the oldest beverages produced by humans and you're merely respecting your ancestors by consuming the beverage of the masses. Or you add class to that glass (of wine). Go you! Fingers are not for counting the number of drinks you've had but how much is poured. Let people know where you stand (keg or not) with this freaking sweet fashion choice.